Dear Sarah,

We are commanded to be in the world but not of the world. If we are involved in sacred activities such as temple work neither can we nor should we isolate ourselves from the rest of humanity. By the nature of our association with those outside the Church we may influence them, primarily by the power of our example, to understand and accept the principles of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

However, I would hasten to point out that, participating in temple work or not, there is a certain danger in having a “relationship” with a non-member. Friendships between two people of the opposite sex in their late teens cannot remain platonic for long. Having entered into such a relationship the emotional factor cannot be neglected, and it provides a powerful factor in influencing our thinking and the judgments we make.

Let’s say that you have espoused the noble goal of being married in the temple. You develop a close “friendship” with a very nice, honorable non-member young man. You have already determined that you will not marry him, so your relationship is defined as being purely temporary. However, as the bonds of affection grow, you begin to examine the possibility of converting him to the Church. That may not progress as fast as you would like, so the next step is to rationalize that after you get married you will have a greater influence, and then he would join the Church so that you could then go to the temple together. Then it becomes a tug of war of whose will is the strongest, whose commitment is the deepest, whose desire for family unit is the greatest, etc., etc.

It is true that some split marriage works out where the non-member joins the Church. It is also true that in many cases the faithful member adopts the life style and the thinking of the non-member partner, and the member terminates her or his activity in the Church, with all the negative consequences for them and their posterity.

The question that perhaps you should ask yourself is, “How much am I willing to risk for my eternal exaltation to the highest degree of glory that may be achieved by our Father’s children in the eternities?” That unspeakable goal is now within your grasp. You will marry soon, and you will marry someone with whom at one time you had a first date. How wise it would be to date only candidates for exaltation. You know who they are.