morality004

Gramps: My wife bought one of your books, and we have found it to be wonderful. My question to you is of deep importance to me, but it is very sensitive. It's about sexuality, and what is the church’s standing on this. Are fellatio and other forms of “Non-standard” sexual acts acceptable within the confines of a married couple’s bedroom? My parents say that it's “Sinful” and “the prophet has said so.” However my brother (a return missionary) say’s otherwise. What's your take? Second question: Pres Hinckley spoke against guys wearing ear rings in general conference a few years back. I want to follow the doctrine of the church, and the admonitions of the prophet, but when I heard his words, I heard them as suggestions, and his personal opinion. Again my parents say that I am wrong, and that his words are to be taken as law - and they have been harassing my son for his ear ring. My feelings (which where confirmed by the bishop’s 1st councilor) are that some things are said as suggestions, and others are said as law. What is your take? Sincerely, Echo

Dear Echo,

In the first place, I have never heard of the term “fellatio,” nor could I find it in my Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary. No matter: understanding that it must relate to some form of “non-standard” sexual act, I much prefer ignorance to knowledge. Further, its understanding is in no way necessary to address your questions. The Pharisees were chastised by the Lord for focusing on the literal interpretation rather than on the spirit of the law. True religion is not comprised of a catalogue of do’s and don’ts, but it consists of an attitude of righteousness. Relevant scriptures are–

As [a man] thinketh in his heart, so is he. (Prov. 23:7)

The LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart. (1 Samuel 16:7)

It is the greatest folly to believe that one can have a lecherous heart and live out his prurient interests in the confines of his own bedroom, or vicariously in his own mind, and escape the wrath of God. The act of procreation was not designed to satisfy man’s animal interests but is one of the most sacred privileges granted by God to man, and is designed for the most holy of purposes. It should therefore be kept sacred and pure.

The General Authorities have spoken extensively on this subject. Let me quote just two references:

“All such deviations from normal, proper heterosexual relationships are not merely unnatural but wrong in the sight of God. Like adultery, incest, and bestiality they carried the death penalty under the Mosaic law.” (Spencer W. Kimball, The Miracle of Forgiveness.)

“A priesthood holder is virtuous. Virtuous behavior implies that he has pure thoughts and clean actions. He will not lust in his heart, for to do so is to ‘deny the faith’ and to lose the Spirit. (D&C 42:23.) He will not commit adultery ‘nor do anything like unto it.’ (D&C 59:6) This means fornication, homosexual behavior, self-abuse, child molestation, or any other sexual perversion.” (Ezra Taft Benson, Come unto Christ)

In the Book of Mormon, Alma had this to say on the subject:

For our words will condemn us, yea, all our works will condemn us; we shall not be found spotless; and our thoughts will also condemn us; and in this awful state we shall not dare to look up to our God; and we would fain be glad if we could command the rocks and the mountains to fall upon us to hide us from his presence. (Alma 12:14.)