Dear Gramps, I have been through your article and frankly was very much impressed by your answers. I have a question to you. Frankly speaking I could not get anyone to speak to. The question is about my attitude towards the opposite sex. My friends in my group think that I’m a whacko with some crazy ideas about life and how it should be. While they perceive girls to be beautiful sex objects, and sometimes I have seen girls indirectly authenticating their ideas, I think that girls also have the same level of humanity as boys. They have brains, they have ears, etc. and apart from the sexual organs there seems to be no difference between boys and girls. To date I have found no one to subscribe to my ideas. Is there anything wrong to my attitude? Please help me. Waiting for your reply. Piyush [answer]

Dear Gramps, Thank you for following up (moral attitude toward girls). The problem is I am not a Christian, will I still be allowed to do so. I live in Calcutta, India. Waiting for your reply. Piyush [answer]

Gramps: My wife bought one of your books, and we have found it to be wonderful. My question to you is of deep importance to me, but it is very sensitive. It's about sexuality, and what is the church’s standing on this. Are fellatio and other forms of “Non-standard” sexual acts acceptable within the confines of a married couple’s bedroom? My parents say that it's “Sinful” and “the prophet has said so.” However my brother (a return missionary) say’s otherwise. What's your take? Second question: Pres Hinckley spoke against guys wearing ear rings in general conference a few years back. I want to follow the doctrine of the church, and the admonitions of the prophet, but when I heard his words, I heard them as suggestions, and his personal opinion. Again my parents say that I am wrong, and that his words are to be taken as law - and they have been harassing my son for his ear ring. My feelings (which where confirmed by the bishop’s 1st councilor) are that some things are said as suggestions, and others are said as law. What is your take? Sincerely, Echo [answer]

Hi Gramps. Here's my problem. My son and stepson returned from their missions about eight months ago. They are working full time and living at home, saving for college. A few nights ago I found them upstairs watching R rated movies and my 17 year old son was in the bedroom with them watching as well. I have been very clear over the years that R rated movies are not o.k. and have arranged that they cannot rent them on my account if they are R rated. The boys apparently bought a bunch of R rated DVD's and they watch them up there all the time. My ex-husband is marginally active and took them all to a gun and knife show last Sunday. So there's that too that I am disappointed in. Here's my question: What do I do about the R rated movies? Yesterday I went up to their room and took all the DVD's and VHS' that were rated R. I was going to send them to my ex husband as he lets them watch them over there. I didn't buy the movies so I didn't feel like I could destroy them. I talked to my ex-husband and he insisted I would make things worse by going in their room and removing them and it would alienate them further. He suggested I put them back and verbally insist they remove them from my house. I asked him what I should do if they don't and he didn't have an answer. So I put them back and left a nice note on their door telling them that I know it is hard to be a young man living at home but we have made it comfortable for them here and they have a responsibility to respect us and live the standards here.....and remove the movies. I found the note torn up and on the floor this morning. I haven't seen them as they leave for work early and last night were out watching Lord of the Rings until rather late. So I need to know what to do now. What would you do? Kathleen [answer]

Gramps, I have been reading your answers to other peoples questions and I am enjoying them a lot but I just read one about taking some sort of birth control. And you read quotes about how it’s not good. But me and my fiancé are about to get married, and we are young, only 19. And we don’t feel we are mentally ready or financially ready for children. We don’t plan on having children for a few years after our marriage so we can enjoy the married life for a bit, become more mature, get used to each other, and get some money saved up. Plus my parents had a child right off and my father wasn’t ready for one and he ended up not knowing how to treat it and felt like my mother was loving the child more than him. They didn’t have time to grow into one another yet. We really want to have children, just not yet. Is it okay for us to use birth control? Miranda from KS [answer]